May 2009
2 posts
1 tag
WORLD NEWS:
Arnold Schwarzenegger is no stranger to the various incarnations of the apocalypse. His movie past has seem him battle against genocidal machines, Satan and perhaps most noteworthy - managing to survive the portrayal of Batman And Robin villain ‘Doctor Freeze’ completely unscathed. Now the Governor is forced to confront (as reported by CNN) what lawmakers have coined ‘financial...
2 tags
World News:
Sources in the Central Asia have this week revealed a new government plan for an ‘alien embassy’ to be constructed in Kazakhstan. Local media reports that the project is currently in the developmental stages - a large portion of land near the city of Almaty having been recently rezoned for this purpose.
The structure is expected to include a large landing pad designed to accommodate...
April 2009
4 posts
1 tag
WORLD NEWS:
A remote controlled toy helicopter flew into India’s heavily-fortified national parliament on Wednesday, sparking a high security alert.
“The one-foot-long Chinese-made toy whizzed over the high walls of Parliament House in New Delhi and landed in its forecourt at about 11am, setting off security alarms. Security analists have yet to release a statement as to whether the invasion...
1 tag
WORLD NEWS:
Citizens should already be familiar with the fearsome Somali pirates occupying the Indian ocean. Last year over one hundred and sixty vessels were captured, the group extorting ransoms of up two million dollars for their release.
Recent reports from the Northern hemisphere are beginning to shed light on a new threat based in the North Atlantic. Consequent to a boon in alternative farming pursuits...
2 tags
POLITICAL NEWS:
Kevin Rudd has today announced yet another revision to his revolutionary national education policy. The amendments take the existing ‘One Laptop Per Child’ policy to new lengths, promising that every Australian zygote is to be provided with an entry level computer with specialised internet access.
The programme would be aimed at augmenting the neural development during the second...
1 tag
DISCLAIMER
If you are reading this - you should be first advised that all information contained within this security news source is to be regarded as entirely false, fictitious and delivered without any factual basis whatsoever. Our aim is to provide you the Citizen, with entertainment - whether it be speculation into the planetary origins of Premiere Tony Abbott, to rulings on modern day fashion...
March 2009
1 post
“Move along Citizen, nothing to see here…”
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